If your children return home after being on their own for a while, it’s important that you establish rules before they move back into your home. With boomerang kids, frank communication is vital. The following ideas are some things you may want to discuss before agreeing to this new living arrangement.

Perhaps your child went away to college and that’s why they moved out of your home. Unless they already had a job lined up, you most likely kept their room available for them. They may not see a problem with coming home since everything’s ready and waiting for their return.

The problems arise, however, when your adult child believes they can return home and not contribute to the family in some way. They may think they will have the same relationship with you. This train of thought is the basis for many problems with boomerang kids and the reason why frank communication is so important.

If your returning child is able to work, you have every right to ask them to find a job – any job – that will help pay for the additional food and utilities of having them home. In fact, you may want to establish ground rules of what is expected of your child before allowing them to re-set up house in your home.

Here are some ground rules you may want to consider:

• Gainful employment is required to help pay for their own expenses as well as help with household expenses.
• Does your child’s returning home have a clear purpose such as saving for additional schooling or for deposits for an apartment?
• Does your child have a goal as to when they will leave your home?
• No alcohol or drugs in your home.
• They will help with chores around the home including doing their own laundry.
• They are welcome to share your meals, but they are expected to buy extras they would like.
• Will they have access to your vehicles or will they be expected to have their own?

Discuss how it may not be easy to move from treating your child as a child to treating your child as an adult. Ask them what expectations or concerns they may have. Listen to them carefully and try to understand. Let them know that you don’t want to control them, but that you do expect them to pitch in.

More than anything, do your best to keep communication lines open if you decide to allow your adult child to return home. Address any problem as soon as you notice it so life in your home will be peaceful and enjoyable for everyone involved.