The tradition to honor mother-in-laws began January 23, 2002. “Mother-in-Law Day” has been celebrated on the fourth Sunday in October ever since. Loving your mother-in-law may or may not be a problem for you; however, even if it is difficult there’s still no reason why you shouldn’t thank her for her part in bringing up your spouse.

It’s not unusual for spouses to have disagreements with their in-laws. The problem could be in how you raise your children, you don’t make enough money, or you don’t part your hair on the right side. Whatever the reason for the friction, take advantage of Mother-in-Law Day to forge a new relationship with her.

Will you get an actual Mother-in-Law’s Day card or would it be better to find a beautiful, blank card that you can write a note in? Find out if your mother-in-law expects a gift or if a card will suffice.

Ask your spouse what their mother likes before you go out to buy a gift for her. If you’re thinking about buying flowers, find out if she is partial to roses but hates chrysanthemums. By asking ahead of time, you’ll avoid the possibility of buying something that could add fuel to the fire if your relationship is already shaky.

Instead of guessing, why not ask your mother-in-law what she’d like to do for Mother-in-Law’s Day. She may be content with being taken out for coffee or a nice brunch, just the two of you.? If she lives in a different city, you may want to send her a card or a small gift, and then call her on the actual holiday.

The important thing to remember is that any past issues don’t have to be permanent. Try to put aside anything that she’s said or done that has hurt you. You may have done the same thing to her without realizing it. Work toward achieving peace between the two of you and it will make your marriage better. You may even find that your mother-in-law isn’t so bad, after all.

You may not even think loving your mother-in-law is a possibility, but you may be willing to give it a try. Be honest with her about any mistakes you’ve made in the past and be willing to ask for forgiveness. Take the time to call her and check on her occasionally without having any other agenda.

Mother-in-Law’s Day can be the start of a new relationship with the woman who has played such an important role in your spouse’s life. Maybe you won’t find yourself loving your mother-in-law, but you may find that you can at least be friendly with her and truly mean it.